By Professor Lawrence Baron

SAN DIEGO—Since it has become obvious that the California electorate prefers funding prisons over universities, the only logical step is for the CSU to be incorporated into the penal system.

So letterhead stationary won't have to be changed, the system will be renamed Correctional State Universities. A law will be passed mandating that young felons who have their high school diplomas receive 4 year minimum sentences at the CSU which, in addition supplying free room and board, will offer inmates classes to get their BA degrees. Parole will be contingent on fulfilling degree requirements with a 2.0 GPA (Graded Prisoner's Average).

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High-school counselors will encourage their advisees to commit petty crimes and get arrested the summer after graduating. Once they are arrested and sentenced, the articulation rehabilitation agreement between the courts and the CSU will go into effect.

Placing the CSU under the auspices of the prison system will eliminate the need to charge fees, provide financial aid, or worry about teaching evaluations. Students will finally become the captive audience faculty always have wanted them to be.


For security reason, no gathering (i.e.. class) of students could be larger than 25; and no matter how many young criminals get booked, there will be public support for enlarging existing prisons and opening new ones. The voters will be delighted to know that their tax dollars have made the streets safe from
carousing and drug-dealing students, particularly those who are suspected of being illegal aliens.

SDSU, Stern Disciplinary State University, will adopt as its
new motto, "Incarceration is the first step towards enlightenment."

Baron is a professor of history and former director of the Lipinsky Institute for Judaic Studies at SDSU