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 SAN DIEGO—All three of the following songs come from Hal Wingard's "Dichotomy Suite, "being the first, second and sixth respectively. All make a statement about two kinds of people you may know. To hear any of the songs below,please click on the titles above the lyrics. To hear songs that have previously been published on San Diego Jewish World, please visit Hal's archive page
#177 -- The Art of Life
#189 -- Handshakes
#198 -- Squeezers
Dichotomy Suite
177—The Art of Life
Two types of people can be found
Inside an art museum.
You'll never have to look for long
Before you start to see 'em.
La, la, la-la-la...la,
La, la, la-la-la...la
La, la, la-la-la...la
La-la,
La-la,
La.
The one kind walks behind the backs
Of viewers as they're viewing.
The other blocks the line of sight,
Quite blind to what they're doing.
La, la, la-la-la...la,
La, la, la-la-la...la,
La, la, la-la-la...la,
La-la,
La-la,
La.
The one kind thinks of other folks;
The other simply doesn't.
For me, who likes to look at life,
I wish the one kind wasn't.
La, la, la-la-la...la,
La, la, la-la-la...la
La, la, la-la-la...la
La-la,
La-la,
La.
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#189, Handshakes
If ever I can find the chance
To meet somebody new,
I never think to turn away
Or let the chance slip through.
So I'll admit right from the start,
I've shaken many hands
With folks who live in many states
As well as foreign lands.
It's true; it's true.
That's how I've learned a simple truth,
A truth I'll share with you:
The population of the world
Divides itself in two.
One half shake hands agressively;
They get their ev'ry wish.
The other half present their hand
And live like some dead fish.
It's true; it's true.
#198, Squeezers
Reports on squeezing toothpaste tubes
Reveal two types of squeezer.
The finding's true for any age,
From babe to ancient geezer.
The one type always starts to squeeze
From bottom to the top,
Rolling up the bottom edge
To save each toothpaste drop.
The other squeezes from the top,
Or simply here and there,
Leaving in the dimpled tube
A lot of paste to spare.
And as it is in squeezing tubes,
It is in making love.
Some begin from bottom up
And others from above.
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