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By Natasha Josefowitz, Ph.D
 LA JOLLA, California—As many of us are watching television, we make judgments about the various people who are talking, who are questioning and who are answering. The adjectives we judge by are in terms of the four Cs: cleverness, clarity, credibility, and charm. I know about clarity and cleverness—that’s easy to spot.
Credibility is trickier. What makes a person credible includes not only knowledge of the topic, but forcefulness of speech, body posture, steadfastness of gaze. But what about charm? What does it mean when someone is said to have “charm?”
I looked up the word in the dictionary and found only very positive synonyms such as allure, appeal, glamour, magnetism, star quality. In other words, it would be a definite plus to be attributed “charm.” And so I started observing the people on television—started ranking my friends, and wondered about my family and myself.
We perceive charm in a first impression. The way a person walks into a room shows whether this person feels that he or she belongs there or is not sure to be welcomed. It is the confident, comfortable way one wears one’s clothes, whether a tuxedo, a formal dress, or blue jeans.
People with charm have an easy walk. You can be the queen, but if you’re awkward and dowdy, you have no charm. Of the people we have seen in the media, some portray a great deal of charm, like Princess Grace or Fred Astaire; others portray little charm, like some of the people who always seem to be tripping over something in the current sitcoms. Charm includes know-
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how—whether getting the right table at a restaurant or getting rid of a visitor. It is also good manners, whether eating a meal or greeting people.
When people are considered for promotions, fit is the major and yet unspoken issue. When the top management is looking for someone to join their ranks, it is also someone who represents
the company to the outside world. This person has to have a certain demeanor that will reflect or even enhance the company image. It certainly cannot be someone whose colleagues are unsure about in front of others, no matter how competent that person is at work. If the members of top management have charm, the new manager will have to have it. However, if top management does not have charm, someone who has a lot of it may be threatening and, therefore, not hired or promoted.
Having too much charm or not enough of it may be the reason for not getting that well-deserved promotion.
Charm is not necessarily learned at home, for I have seen families where some members have charm and their siblings have none. You can be the boss with no charm or the janitor with a lot of it.
The old-fashioned “charm school” is alive and well. It has expanded and is now called “presentation skills” or “interpersonal relationships.”
Charm is a certain style and can be learned. Many executive development programs now include seminars on how to present yourself using videotape equipment so that participants can improve their images. People with charm look comfortable, sound right, have good manners, are poised and dignified, and attract the attention of those around them. Charm has nothing to do with shyness, nor competency, nor money. It is not dependent on ancestry, position, or education. It really is an attitude about oneself, an easy manner with others. Ultimately, charm has to do with the self-confidence that comes from the assurance that “I belong right here as I am right now.”
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