In his response, the "Sordid Tales" columnist wrote "yes, the Anti-Defamation league has contacted us.  And we're receiving more angry mail than any article ever published in this magazine before.  I would love to do an interview with you, but, given the angry nature of my letters, and what I perceive to be a total misunderstanding of my words, I would rather do the interview via email so that I have a written record of everything that was said, just in case I am misquoted, or quoted out of context. This is not to imply that you would intentionally misquote me, but I have to protect myself here. (I've never received communication from the anti defamation league before -- scary!).  Does this work for you?"

Q: What experience have you had with the Jewish community?  Are you yourself Jewish?

A: 1)  Aside from the fact that my wife is Jewish?  Aside from the fact that I enjoy Passover with my inlaws every April? And that many of my friends are Jews? And I love Jewish comedians, and writers, and directors and the food and the language. 

 

I guess that would have to be Kiryas Joel.  This was/is an enormous Hasidic community that neighbored my home town. While there was no doubt a separation that existed between my community and theirs – our proximity was so close that we had no choice to interact with each other.  Thankfully, I had many opportunities to meet, and speak with, and enjoy the company of Hasidic men (sadly, never women).  I’ve always been the type of person who has been attracted to and curious about different cultures and so I was always asking questions. One such man became a close friend. Every Sunday (I think) he would come to the produce market where I worked where it was my job to fulfill his special needs as he was shopping for his very large extended family. He would buy several cases of lettuce, and other produce at a time and I would help him order them, and stack the pallet, then load them into his truck, and over the course of months/years we became friends.   We liked to share stories about each other’s communities. He was full of questions about my secular lifestyle as I was of his  He debunked a lot of urban myths for me (like the one about sex through the hole in the sheet) and told me many things I just had no idea about. In turn, I told him about my lifestyle. I remember him being nearly blown away when I told him I dated, and had sex with different partners (as I was single at the time.)

1a) No, I’m not Jewish. I was born into a Roman Catholic family and rejected that religion pretty early in my life.

Q. What is your reaction to the letters in response to your article?  Do any of them make a point that you agree with?  

A: My first reaction to the letters I have received, and many of them are quite spicy (I’m called an anti-Semite, Nazi, white-hood-wearer, and even a self hating Jew) is that if I can dish out it, I better be able to take it. And I do understand the angry response. 

 

I’ve written many sarcastic screeds about my own religion, and of Islam, and fundamentalism in general, but none of them garnered the response this one has. Dozens and dozens of angry emails, many message board posts on Jewish websites. Boycotts threatened. I mean, even the Anti-Defamation League has contacted us.  Of course, I understand why Jews are more sensitive than other peoples, but that’s not going to keep me from calling it as I see it, and the way I see it is, the language and literature of Orthodox Judaism can be very disrespectful to women.

Q:  How would you characterize the letters?  Are they all angry or are some more dispassionate?

A: 98 percent of them are angry and highly passionate. A small amount have been positive, and passionate. Zero are dispassionate.

 

Q: I believe some people are more angry about your language than your questioning of Orthodox customs.  Do you agree?  Some comments call the language vile?  Do you feel this is justified.

Yes, the language is vile. That’s my style. I’m a vile writer. My column is called Sordid Tales. It’s quite vile. I grew up reading the vile smatterings of vile authors and loved it in a vile manner. Even when my own beliefs are called into question. So yes, the comment is justified.

 

Q: What conclusions do you draw from this episode?  What conclusions do you think the Jewish community should come to?

 

I don’t really like to think in terms of conclusions.  The whole thing, the whole process of being human, is a work in progress. Right now, I know the Jewish community is upset with me.  But, on the other hand, I've been nominated for a San Diego Gay Pride “Friend of the Community Award,” because of the many articles I wrote for gay rights.

 

I’m just for equality that’s all. For everyone involved.  There’s some stuff in the Talmud and the Tora that are pretty disrespectful of women, like their divorce rights, and Niddah, that I just will never understand, so I write about it. That’s all.

Q:   Is there anything else that you would like to say on the matter, that perhaps I haven't asked you?

A: Yes, I just want it to be known that I am the farthest thing from an anti Semite you can find. I simply have no problem with the Jewish people, hard as that may be to believe.  My problem is, and has always been, with the institution of fundamental or orthodox religions. All of them. I feel, for the most part, they can be repressive, and backwards, and yes disrespectful to women, and that is the sort of thing I love to rail against.