A Jewish mother's answering machine:

If you want lox and eggs, press 1;
If you want knishes press 2;
If you want chicken soup, press 3;
If you want matzoh balls with the soup, press 4;
If you want to know how am I feeling, you are calling the wrong number since NOBODY ever asks me how I am feeling. Who knows?  I could even be dead by now.


—Forwarded by Rabbi Baruch Lederman, Congregation Kehillas Torah, San Diego