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2005-06-15—Jewish computer essentials

 
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Jewish computer essentials

jewishsightseeing.com
,  June 15, 2005

Eighteen is a lucky number in Jewish folklore, and there are 18 reasons why you should buy a Jewish computer:

1) The "Start" button has been replaced with the "Let's go!! I'm not getting any younger!" button.  

2) I hear "Hava Nagila" during startup.

3) The cursor moves from right to left.

4) When Spellchecker finds an error it prompts, "Is this the best you can do?"

5) When I look at erotic images, my computer says, "If your mother  knew you did this, she would die."

6) It comes with a "monitor cleaning solution" from Manischewitz that advertises it gets rid of all the "schmutz und drek."

7) When running "Scan Disk" it prompts with me with a "You want I should fix this?" message.

8) After 20 minutes of no activity, my PC goes "Schloffen".

9) The PC shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday evenings.

10) It comes with two hard drives-one for fleyshedik (business software) and one for milchedik (games).

11) Instead of getting a "General Protection Fault" error, my PC now gets "Ferklempt"

12) The multimedia player has been renamed to "Nu, so play my music already!"

13) Internet Explorer has a spinning "Star of David" in the upper right corner.

14) When my PC is working too hard, I occasionally hear a loud "Oy Gevalt!"

15) Computer viruses can now be cured with matzo ball soup.

16) When disconnecting external devices from the back of my PC, I am instructed to "Remove the cable from the PC's tuchus."

17) After my computer dies, I have to dispose of it within 24 hours.

18) But best of all, if you have a kosher computer, you can't get Spam
Forwarded by Gail Umeham, San Diego, Calif..