As retold by Bruce Lowitt

Three Jewish hunters - an American, an Australian and an Israeli - are out on safari when they are captured by a small tribe of cannibals. The tribesmen light fires under the huge  pots and, waiting for the water to boil, the chief offers each captive a last wish.

"I would like you to give me a chance to pray to God," the American says, "to thank Him for the wonderful life he has given me, for all the friends I have made throughout the years and especially for my wife, children and grandchildren He has blessed me with."

The chief agrees and the American begins to pray. "Baruch atah Adonai, eloheinu ..."

"And you?" the chief says to the Australian.

"I would like you to give me the opportunity to say Kaddish for the three of us since no one else is here to do it," the Australian says, " and to say one final Kaddish for all of our loved ones and friends who have preceded us in death."

The chief grants him the wish and the Australian begins to pray. "Yeetgadal v' yeetkadash sh'mey rabbah ..."

"And what about you?" the chief asks the Israeli.

"I would like you to give me a kick in the tush," he replies.

The American and Australian stop praying and look at him.

"The what?" the chief asks.

"The tush. My behind. My rear end."

"No, really," the chief says, laughing.

"Really," the Israeli says. "Give me one right here."

"Whatever," says the chief, who then delivers a swift and accurate one - whereupon the Israeli pulls out a Jericho 941 Desert Eagle pistol and shoots the chief and a dozen tribesmen while the remaining cannibals flee into the
forest.

The American and Australian are outraged.

"Why didn't you do that in the first place?" the American shouts.

"If you'd done that right away we wouldn't have had to go through all this," the Australian says.

"What? Are you crazy?" the Israeli says. "If I'd done that, then at the UN, they'd  have condemned me as the aggressor."