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Irving Goodman Eulogy by Rabbi
Leonard Rosenthal
My friends, this morning we gather to mourn for and pay tribute to
our good friend, and pillar of the San Diego community and this synagogue,
Irving A. Goodman; a man who devoted his entire life to helping his fellow human
being and to doing the work of heaven here on earth.
He was totally devoted to his mother, and to the day of his death spoke fondly and warmly about her, even though she died young. After she died, Irving was raised by his sister Miriam, who is now 92, and the only one of the five brothers and sisters still with us.
Irving shared an especially close relationship with his grandfather. He used to
live in the apartment above his grandfather's store, and it was through his
grandfather's gentle urgings and prudent example, that Irving came to the great
love of Judaism, Jewish education, and the Jewish people which remained with
him, and characterized him, throughout his life.
Lack of adequate finances did not stop Irving from attaining his college degree.
Irving was bright, aggressive and more than willing to struggle in order to make
his dreams come true, and so he worked his way through Boston University in
order to earn his B.A. in Business.
After graduating he went to work. He went into retailing, and took a job with a local chain store - a job which eventually caused him to move to Hazelton, Pennsylvania, where he met Sara, his beloved bride.
As Irving told the story, he was working on Broad Street, when he happened to look outside the window and spotted an attractive young lady walking her Boston Terrier on a leash. He asked one of his coworkers who she was. He replied that that was Sara Frumkin, one of the nicest girls in the city.
Sara at first turned the smitten Irving down, not once, but several times. But one day she walked into the store to sell him a fund-raising ticket for Hadassah. Irving agreed, but only if she would go out with him. This time Sara said yes, and the rest is history. Irving always delighted in the fact that he, a stranger from New England, was able to woo and win one of the prize packages of the city.
Irving and Sara spent 60 devoted years together. They were inseparable. They did everything together. They were life long companions. Irving even built a special office for her at his store so that they could spend the days together. And when she became ill, Irving was constantly at her side. Although he had finally resigned himself to it, Sara's death last June traumatized Irvng. He never even began to recover from the loss of the love of his life. Let us take some small measure of comfort knowing that the two of them are now reunited with each other, and also with their beloved grandson, Robert.
To really appreciate the type of human being Irving was, you need to spend some time with his children, Allan and Nancy, and their spouses Barbara and Kenneth. He was not only an exceptional husband, but an exceptional father and father-in-law as well.
Nancy told me Irving was the kind of father who led his children not by harsh discipline, or by raising his voice, but by the loving example that he himself set. He didn't order his children around, but let them know what was expected of them, and then trusted them to ``do the right thing.'' He had high standards for his children, yet respected them enough to allow them to make their own decisions - even if he would have done otherwise himself. He was invested in his children, and took an active and keen interest in everything they did - be it their school and academic lives, or the activities and in which they were interested.
Nancy especially recalls Irving's compassion and kindness. She vividly remembers a time they went to the county fair, and Irving found a young 4-H'er in tears - because the lamb she had so carefully raised was about to be sold. Irving couldn't leave the pen until he had tried to persuade the girl's father to let her keep the lamb.
Allan is proud that he and Irving were not only parent and child, but friends as well. His relationship with his parents was such, that he has worked to build a similar relationship with his own children. Even when Irving and Allan disagreed, the depths of their love and respect for each clearly and beautifully anchored their relationship.
Irving was extremely proud of his children and their accomplishments in life. Allan and Nancy both have post-graduate educations, and have very successful careers. Irving also treated his children-in-law, Barbara and Kenneth, as if they were his own children.
Irving was also proud of each of his grandchildren, Elizabeth, Joseph, Cathy and Robert, Alav Ha-Shalom, and their accomplishments. He loved them, and they loved him in return. One thing that gave him special pleasure were the times that he, Allan and Joseph went golfing together. It was special, indeed, to have all three generations together like that.
He loved each member of his family in their own special way, and all of them in turn loved him, and helped him and came to his side before he needed them. Each of them was an inextricable part of his life, and Irving spoke often and eloquently about their achievements, and loyalty and love of him.
Irving Goodman was an extremely successful businessman. He excelled at sales in his early days, went on to become a successful clothing manufacturer back East, before moving to San Diego and achieving the same great success here not only in wholesale, but in retail as well. Everyone in San Diego knew about and shopped at I.A. Goodman, Inc.
He also achieved a fair deal of notoriety in this town, because he was one of the first businessman to appear in his own television commercials - where he developed his trademark slogan, ``We will not be undersold!'' People would come up to him in stores and in restaurants, asking for his autograph, and telling him that they had bought a hundred of suits from him. (By the way, Irving once confided to Allan that if even a small percentage of the people who said they bought suits from him, had bought suits from him, he would be a very wealthy man!)
Allan told me about one incident from his childhood that made such an impression on him, that he still remembers it vividly to this day. I recall it now, because it teaches us much about the essence of Irving Goodman, and why he was held in such esteem and was loved by so many people.
Irving was a salesman making rounds to his customer with Allan in tow. One buyer, in Copley Square in Boston, pulled him aside and said to him, ``Allan, your dad is the most honest man in the world.'' For a purchaser to say this about a salesman, was a rare and great compliment indeed.
In the book of Psalms we read,, ``O Lord, who shall dwell in Your sanctuary? Who shall abide upon your holy mountain? The person who lives with integrity, does what is right, and speaks the truth in his heart; who has no slander upon his tongue, who does no evil to his fellow man, who does not reproach his neighbor...Whoever does these things shall stand firm forever.''
Irving Goodman was an extremely astute and able businessman. But even more important than that, Irving Goodman was an honest businessman. He was truthful. He was forthright. He had integrity. Everyone knew that when you did business with Irving you would receive a fair deal, and because of that he was respected not only by his customers, but by his associates as well.
Irving Goodman became a Mason over 40 years ago. He was a Master Mason, Scottish Rite Mason and a Shriner, and received the prestigious Hiram Award.
One of the reasons Irving was attracted and became so involved in Masonry was because of the ethics, morality and charitable activities of this venerable brotherhood. He said that his Masonic brothers respected each other, and were honorable human beings. In other words, the standards of Masonry were much the same as the personal standards of Irving Goodman himself, and this is why he felt so much a part of and was so devoted to this organization.
It was also ethics and integrity which Irving found in Judaism. Irving was not only a loyal member and supporter of the congregation, but also a very learned Jew. He was fond of telling my wife Judy, and her brother and sister, that he used to attend the Cheder run by their great-grandfather, ``Old Man Slobin'' back in Worcester. Irving not only faithfully attended worship and holiday services, but he was also able to lead the prayers.
He was extremely dedicated not only to the synagogue, but to all aspects of Jewish life. He was a staunch supporter of the University of Judaism, by which he was honored a few years ago with its Founders Award, and had a special love for Israel, which he and Sara visited together.
During their visit to Israel, Nancy and Ken told me that Irving was continually astonished that one small country could have so many Jews. He couldn't conceive of it. On one Friday night they took a cab to the synagogue. The driver didn't look Jewish, so Irving - who was never at a loss - for conversation asked him if he was. Irving was amazed when the driver said he was, but then asked him, ``If you're really Jewish, why are you driving on Friday night?''
Although his support of the synagogue is legendary, what many people do not know is how much he helped and gave to other good causes, and how many ways he helped individuals who needed him in his own quiet and unobtrusive ways. There is more than one person who owes his success to the quiet, generous untold kindnesses of Irving Goodman.
Irving kept much of his Tzedakah low key, but if you ever did anything for Irving, his gratitude would be unending. No matter how small the kindness was, if you ever did anything for Irving Goodman, it was never forgotten.
As Irving grew older, his sight began to fail and he walked a little more slowly. But until the end, the rest of his faculties were intact and his mind remained keen.
Irving loved to tell stories, and he also loved to tell the same stories over and over again. But Irving also listened to the news and watched sports, and he could as just as easily have a conversation with you about the upcoming elections here or the political situation in Israel as he could about something which happened in his life 70 years ago. Mentally, Irving never grew older - he was always young.
Irving Goodman was a rare and special human being. He was a devoted Jew, a humanitarian, a decent and honorable human being, a loving husband, father and grandfather. He was a man of great energy and goodness and loyalty, and above all he was a Mensch.
Irving always had great respect for Rabbis, and I feel fortunate to have
had his respect and friendship, as did Rabbi
Levens, Alav Hashalom and Rabbi
Gold. I did not have the privilege of knowing Irving as long as did these two
fine gentleman, or many of you, but in the time I did have with Irving I quickly
learned to prize his learning, goodness, integrity, dedication to the synagogue
and Judaism, and willingness to lead by example. I treasured the time we spent
together, his logical advice, his willingness to gently tell me the truth when
he disagreed with me, and the personal assistance he offered to me on so many
many occasions. I will miss him and mourn him, as will all of those who
fortunate enough to have considered him his friend - and the numbers are many.
Irving and Sara Goodman were Tifereth Israel institutions and Tifereth Israel
treasures. Although gone, they will long be remembered - not only by the many
concrete gifts they made to our congregation, such as the Goodman chapel - and
these railings on the side of the Bimah which Irving just dedicated in Sara's
memory, but also by their personal kindness and generosity of spirit. Irving
made many gifts to this synagogue - he helped bring this building to life, and
he nourished it in the years that followed -His heart and his soul will continue
to reverberate through this building.
But the most important gift he made to Tifereth Israel and all of us -
was the gift of himself. The gift of his friendship, his love, his warmth, his
dedication, his gentleness and his kindness.
May we always remember Irving Goodman and his beloved Sara with love. May their lives and memories inspire us to greater acts of goodness and of love. And may all the beautiful and true ideals and goals for which they strived, arouse us to greater acts of goodness and truth in the months and years which lie ahead.
May the souls of Irving Goodman, joining the soul of his beloved wife Sara, be bound in the bond of Eternal Life, and may their names and memories always be a blessing to all of us, and let us say: Amein.
IrvinB*
* *
Irving
Ashley Goodman
Yitzchak Asher ben Reuvein v'Chana
Age:
89 Born:
Feb. 19, 1903 Died:
Nov. 16, 1992 BSD
Wife: Sara (Deceased June, 92) - married 60 years
*Allan-Barbara
Elizabeth
Joseph
Cathy
Robert (Deceased)
*Nancy-Kenneth
Wiener