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Eulogies for Seymour Okmin—July 11, 2005
Eulogy by Rabbi Leonard
Rosenthal, Tifereth Israel Synagogue, July 11, 2005:
When
I visited Seymour a few days before he died, I reminded him of the set of
photographs of our daily minyan, the faithful group of congregants that
meets early each day for morning prayers, that we have in the synagogue. Seymour
had taken many of these himself. He had set a timer on his camera and so was
able to appear in each one, including one that was taken a long time ago when
Tifereth Israel was located on 30th and Howard. In that one photo was
a very young Seymour Okmin. He had considerably more hair than he had in recent
years, but the smile and twinkle in his eyes were exactly the same. So little
had Seymour’s smile and persona changed over the years, that a volunteer at
Grossmont Hospital immediately recognized him, although the last time they had
seen each other was on the train he rode out to California sixty years ago.
Seymour
and Rose became members of Tifereth Israel virtually from the moment they
arrived in San Diego in 1946. They still remembered the days when the
congregation was located at 18th and Market, and when Rose
volunteered to cook Friday night congregational dinners in the synagogue
kitchen. Seymour served on our Board for many years, was a Past President of the
congregation, and a pillar of the community, which is why we are honoring him
today by having his memorial service in our sanctuary.
Seymour
was born in Chicago, the youngest of nine siblings. So large was the age spread
from youngest to oldest that Seymour was one year old at his sister’s wedding.
Today his brother, Sam, and Sam’s wife, Sarah, are all that remain of that
large family. We pray that God will comfort them on their loss.
Seymour
grew up in a tough neighborhood during tough times. He and his families suffered
through the deprivations of the Depression and he remembered trudging to school
in the snow, which no doubt inspired his subsequent move to San Diego!
In
High School he worked as a soda jerk, a job for which he always had fond
memories, and also worked doing pick up and deliveries for a dental lab. He
could not help but notice that the dental offices he served were always busy,
despite the rigors of the Depression. That’s when he decided to become a
dentist. He attended Loyola University and then Loyola Dental School. He served
our country in the Navy during World War II as a dentist, and was stationed,
among other locations, in the Philippines and here in San Diego at the Naval
Training Center.
Seymour was
a skilled and beloved dentist. He was kind, gentle, personable, and rarely
raised his fees. All of his patients loved him. They wept when he retired. He
was active in many dental organizations, especially those devoted to
children’s dental health, and was featured on the cover of one of the Dental
Association’s periodicals.
It
was while Seymour was in Dental School that he met the one and only love of his
life, his beloved Rose, with whom he celebrated sixty years of marriage last
November. The story of how they met has been retold often, but since Seymour
loved telling it so much, I will share it with you yet one more time!
When
Seymour was in dental school a friend of his suggested they go to Akron to
“pick up some stuff,” as he put
it. When he arrived he was introduced his friend’s cousin,
a beautiful red head, who was dressed to kill. Seymour and Rose hit it
off right away. Seymour even put up with Rose dragging him around the dance
floor when they went to a nightclub.
Rose,
then as now, was quite the innocent. When she received an invitation from
Seymour to visit in Chicago for a fraternity dance her family was less then
thrilled, but consented nevertheless. Her mother, her aunt and her uncle Dave,
the shadchan, took her to the train station. Her mother and aunt helped
her find her seat, but they were so busy helping her settle in - and perhaps
warning her about Seymour - that they didn't notice the train pulling away from
the station, right past a very
surprised Uncle Dave/
Fortunately,
they got off at the next stop. Unfortunately, they didn’t have 10¢ between
the two of them to get back. So they did what any self respecting ladies of
their day would do: they hitchhiked! They were picked up by a trucker carrying a
load of chickens to Akron. Fortunately, this trucker knew Uncle Dave and they
got home - and Rose got to Chicago - safely.
Rose
and Seymour’s romance was punctuated by his service in the military, and Rose
never knew when she was going to be woken up at night by Seymour throwing
pebbles at her window when he was able to take leave. But before too long, they
married and built a life and family together.
When
I asked Rose to share the secret of their long relationship and love affair with
me, she had a simple answer: “they never agreed about anything!” But all of
us who know and love them, know the truth.
As his family told me, Seymour loved the
roses he nurtured in the backyard of his home, and Seymour loved his Rose. Rose
and Seymour were the centers of each other’s lives. Their marriage was a true
partnership, they respected and treasured each other, shared the same values,
loved their family, were always together, never held a grudge,
and even today it is impossible to think of one without the other.
Seymour and Rose knew how to enjoy each other and how to enjoy life. They
traveled extensively, went on lots of cruises, knew how to throw a party, and
how to be the life of a party.
They
were famous for their creativity and their costumes. Seemingly conservative
Seymour would dress up as anything from a cave man to Al Capone. Once he even
rented an old car so he could chauffeur himself and Rose to a party in style.
Seymour loved to barbecue and had his own special marinade. He also had
his own way of slicing a Nathan’s hot dog just so, “Chicago style,” and
when his smoked white fish came in, he would divide it out to his family so
they, too, could enjoy it with a slice of raw onion.
Seymour
and Rose had many friends, and a social life and an energy level of which many
who are much younger are jealous. They were never at home. They went to parties,
to plays, to dinners, spent evenings with their friends, etc. Their daughter,
Sandy told me that she would often call the house late at night and no one would
answer. When she caught up with her parents the next day they would say, “Oh,
we went to a show and stopped for a late night dinner at Denny’s.”
One
of, and certainly the finest, of Seymour and Rose’s many accomplishments was
the family they created together. All in all, it is a large and extended family,
one which extends four generations, and one in which there is no division
between children and grandchildren, and their spouses.
Today
Seymour’s family includes his four children and their spouses, Larry and
Linda, Judith and Jack, Sandy and Kevin, and Denise and Jeff, their
grandchildren, Janine and Jonathan, Alison, Laura and Rick, Kevin, Rachel, Julia
and Jamie, and the latest addition, his great-grandson Daniel Noah.
Family
was the most important thing in Seymour’s life, and he certainly has the
pictures to prove it! Seymour could be strict at times, but he also nurtured his
children and supported them. He was always there for them, regardless of what
they needed. Seymour helped them get through school, celebrated their simchas,
helped them get into their homes, and made sure they had the encouragement and
tools to be successful in life.
When
he first began practicing dentistry in San Diego, it wasn’t unusual for him to
baby-sit his kids in his office if Rose had some errands to do, and all of his
kids at one time or another ended up working for him.
He
loved and was proud of all of his children and grandchildren, and always made
sure everyone was included not only in the many gatherings in his home, but on
trips, and even going out to dinner as well. It wasn’t unusual for Seymour and
Rose, on the spur of the moment, to show up at a restaurant and request seating
for fifteen people.
Seymour’s children credit him with all that is right, good and loving
in their lives today and all have beautiful memories of him. We have already
heard how Larry was inspired by his father. Judy remembers Seymour’s love and
his honesty, caring, and integrity. Sandy remembers her dad waking up early
every morning at 4:00 a.m. to feed the birds and read the newspaper, before
preparing breakfast for her. Denise remembers the time her mom was sick when she
was little, and how she struggled to make dinner for her dad, chili over
noodles, and even though it did not turn out how she had planned, how he praised
her culinary efforts and skills.
All
of his daughters remember their dad walking them down the aisle and his joy when
all of his children married, and how he made all of his children gold wedding
bands with his own hands.
Seymour
doted on his grandchildren, and was always ready to baby-sit at the drop of a
hat. “Bring ‘em on over,” he would say. He was very close with all of
them. They all adored their grandfather, and remember the family gatherings, his
famous “welcome song,” the photos in front of their new cars, and pride at
the birth of his great-grandson.
Seymour’s family also remembers his large circle of friends, including
besides his investment clubs, his Tuesday Lunch Bunch, his bridge group, friends
at the Weinberger B’nai B’rith Lodge, and machatananm, Mike and
Gussie Zaks.
Although
Seymour had suffered his share of aches, pains, and illnesses over the years,
including cardiac bypass surgery in 1986, he never let it affect his life or
daily activities. Nothing ever got in the way of his pleasure, joy, and having a
good time.
Seymour was strong, he was indomitable, he always acted and lived like
someone far younger than his 83 years. And perhaps it was because he was so
healthy and strong, that his sudden and severe illness was such a shock to all
of us. It’s hard to believe that the same man who was so vibrant at his 60th
anniversary party in November could become so debilitated just a few short
months later.
A
couple of weeks ago Seymour recognized that he was dying, made peace with
himself, with God, and tried to help his family accept the inevitable, although
it was very hard for them to accept that this great source of strength and love
in their life would not be with them much longer. But Seymour recognized that he
had lived a long full life, doing everything he wanted to do and having no
regrets, and that the time was fast approaching for him to journey from this
world to the next.
During these last weeks a constant stream of friends came to visit,
family members were always by his side, he was never alone for a minute, and
finally his family brought him back to his own home so that he could spend his
final days visiting his roses and his Rose, surrounded by wonderful memories and
all of their love.
When
Seymour died, he died in peace, having lived a long, full, good, and giving
life. He did not have an enemy in the world, and was surrounded by abundant
love.
When I asked Seymour’s children what they had learned about life from
their dad, their answer was simple yet profound: “Ignore the rhetoric. Buy low
and sell high!”
It seems that among other fine qualities, they have also inherited
Seymour’s sense of humor.
But in addition to teaching them the fine points of the stock market
Seymour also taught his children to be good people, to be kind to others, to
plan for the future, and to love tradition. He taught them how to live good,
moral, ethical, and giving lives. He taught them to love Judaism, the synagogue,
and to practice the traditions of our faith in their homes. And finally, he
taught them how to cherish their families and their roses.
We
pray that God comfort all of us who loved Seymour on our loss, that God will
strengthen our resolve to carry the mitzvot he performed and the values
by which he lived in our own lives, increase our love for our families, friends,
and strangers alike, and that Seymour’s soul will be bound in the Bond of
Eternal Life.
Eulogy by Jack Morgenstern, son-in-law of Seymour
Okmin, July 11, 2005
First of all I would like
to thank everyone for coming here today. Knowing Seymour and his good
sense of humor, I'm sure he would have had something funny to say to each of
you.
There are a few things about Seymour I would like to
say. First, one of his loves was this synagogue (Tifereth Israel).
He was a past president and he sat on the board for many years. He was
also the official photographer of this synagogue.
Whenever there was an event, he was the one taking the
pictures. Many of his photos appeared in the Shofar. He was a
perfectionist and it would take him about 10 minutes to take the picture, but
the end result was beautiful.
In 1945, he and Rose joined Tifereth when it was on
18th Street near Market. I wish he were able to be here to celebrate the
centennial anniversary this year.
I know the synagogue will miss him. He was
definitely one of a kind.
Another love that he had was the stock market. He
personally started two investment clubs. One was the Mensch Club
here at Tifereth. Anyone could always talk to him about stocks and once the
conversation got going it lasted quite a bit. Seymour was so knowledgeable
that he charted his own stocks. I know there are many of you out there that he
personally advised. He was bright, sharp and witty. Up until the end, he
could carry on a great conversation with anyone about the market.
Personally, he taught me so much about stocks and life that I will never forget,
which I hope to pass on to my children and grandchildren.
This brings me to the last love. I would like to
talk about Seymour and our family. He was the head of this large
family. He had four children, nine grandchildren and one grandchild.
He loved his family and his family loved him. Whether we were going on trips
together or having family dinners, he enjoyed being together. He loved his
grandchildren very much and was so proud of each one of them. It's too bad he
didn't have enough time with his great-grandchild Daniel but I will make sure
that Daniel will learn everything about him.
Whenever someone needed a ride to the airport at five
in the morning, Seymour was there. Whenever someone needed advice or someone to
talk to, Seymour was there. How can we replace a dad like Seymour?
You can't. You can only think about the good things that he taught us, and there
were many!
So when you try to remember Seymour, think about how he
looked before he became ill, with a cap on his head and a scarf and
gloves. That is how I will picture him—with that great smile and
personality. There is only one word to describe Seymour Okmin...He was a mensch!
We will miss him but we will never forget him, because he will always be
with us. We love you Dad!
Eulogy by Larry Okmin, DDS son of Seymour Okmin,DDS,
July 11, 2005:
My Dad was an inspiration to me and to just
about everyone that knew him. Much of what I’ve become in life I owe to my
Dad. There are of course the obvious examples such as my choosing the profession
of Dentistry. Yet my Father never directly told me that I should be a dentist.
What he did was to motivate by example. It was clear to me that he was dedicated
to his profession, that he enjoyed both the art and science of it, and that he
was respected and loved by his patients, friends and peers.
By his example I learned how to take care of a family,
to be a generous and loving father and husband. He showed me that quality is
important and that any job worth doing is worth doing well.
He taught me to develop an eye for photography. He
taught me to appreciate the finer delicacies in life: Smoked fish; Herring; Raw
Onions; Texas grapefruit; and...Chocolate! The smoked fish could only be from
Chicago (although more recently NY smoked fish was acceptable too.)
As a kid I loved to ”work” in his office lab. That
meant he’d let me rummage around in the drawers finding dental tools and
exotic materials like colored wax with which I could create great works of
art... with Dad’s encouragement. We would make wax patterns and then cast them
into gold jewelry. Once when I was 8 or 9, He made a gold ring for me with my
initials on it. The ring was beautiful but a little big--to allow my finger to
grow. The first day I had it, I was playing ball on the front lawn and when I
threw the ball, the ring went too, flying off my finger into the thick grass. I
was in BIG trouble! But when I got the courage to tell Dad, instead of getting
angry, the two of us spent and hour searching for it on hands and knees, but to
no avail. The ring was gone. He didn’t re make the ring for me for a few more
years--either to let my fingers grow or perhaps to allow for a little more
responsibility.
Photography is another pursuit that I love
because of my Dad. He liked the whole creative process from making (not taking)
the picture, to developing the negatives to printing the photo, and even
touching them up with fine brushes and inks.
At the end of WW II, as a young Naval officer in the
dental corps he was “loaned to do dentistry at the Army’s 4th General
Hospital in Luzon, in the Philippines. Once his expertise in photography became
known he was given the additional duty of hospital photographer for the Army
archives. A medical Corps General visiting from Washington was doing a hospital
inspection tour and was puzzled to see a Navy Man in uniform doing the
photography in an Army Hospital. When he questioned the Commanding Officer, the
Colonel simply replied “Okie is the man for the job.”
Probably the most important thing that inspired me
about my Dad was the how he interacted with people. He was always friendly,
helpful and totally honest. He always tried to find something in common with
people. He was that way with his family of course but he could easily strike up
a conversation with a total stranger and find much in common to talk about. He
could just as easily schmooze with the Hasidic clerk at B&H Camera in
NYC about his days as a kid in Chicago wearing payes and going to cheder
as he could with the Filipino Nurse at the Hospital about Luzon and Lychee
nuts.
Casual acquaintances became close friends. And he had
plenty of friends! During his two months in the Hospital, not a day went by
without several visitors coming by to be with my Mom and Dad. The
Rehab Hospital finally gave him a certificate for “The Most Visitors” for
his bulletin board.
The last two months he spent in the hospital were very
difficult for him, my mom and our family. However the hours that we spent
together had its rewards that I will always cherish. His strength of character
shined through it all and it was an inspiration to me. He maintained his sense
of humor...when , after coming out of anesthesia following one of his
procedures, a nurse asked him if he knew where he was, he replied “don’t
tell my wife, I’m at YOUR place!
Sometimes the simple things provide the best memories. I
loved playing golf with Dad and his buddies, Mike Zaks and Sam Engleman on
Friday mornings at the Balboa 9. In his tradition, long about the 6th hole, he
would look at me and ask, “need some energy?” Then he would reach into his
golf bag and we’d share a chunk bittersweet chocolate from Trader
Joe’s. After the game, if it was near lunch time, we’d drop into the coffee
shop and have “fish on a bun.’”..with a slice of raw onion!
My Dad had a great and fulfilling life which I feel is summed
up by a quote by Henry David Thoreau, that he had displayed in his study: “Go
confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined.”
I know if Dad was here now, he would show his love for all of
us by singing his famous “Welcome Song.”
We all know...Okie is the man for the job.