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Heart to Heart

A Real-World Education

San Diego Jewish Times, August 11, 2006                                                       .

By Gert Thaler

Dear Editor Mike:

I know you requested that all Jewish Times columnists base this week's comments on the subject of "Education" but you misidentified my purpose in life. I am not a teacher (except on how to make fluffy matzoh balls), I am not a mavin nor an intellectual (I watch Who Wants to be a Millionaire every night). So in order to fall into line with your rules I write today on what I consider an educational theme.

Last week I bought five books at Costco. Two novels, The Messenger ($14.99) Daniel Silva's latest novel (one of my favorite authors) and the curious incident of the dog in the night-time ($8.49) by Mark Haddon, a book described as "gloriously eccentric and wonderfully intelligent" by The Boston Globe critic, witness the entire title omitting any capital letters. A friend in Israel insisted I read this as one of the best books she has ever read. When I finish both books they will be sent to Israel with travelers to a book club of friends who share such "care packages."

I also bought a uniquely shaped book paying homage to a favorite ingredient of mine with a title of Cooking With Garlic. No one author is given credit but the publisher does acknowledge contributors of recipes and photos. The Costco price of $6.99 is well worth the wealth of guidance. I could actually taste Brisket of Beef as I read the recipe, as well as the Baked Garlic Bundles.

As if the above were not enough to fill my reading or cooking hours, my eyes fell upon two non-fiction books, each weighed down by 600 pages. The Doctors Book of Food Remedies was the first attraction. Its editor, Selene Yeager, and the editors of Prevention Health Books describe it as a reference source only, not as a medical manual. In so doing they discuss "the newest discoveries in the power of food to cure and prevent health problems, from aging and diabetes to ulcers and yeast infections." If that ain't educational material, my dear Editor Mike, what else could it be?

What with all the publicity these days about our obese population as well as reporting on the high incidence of heart attack by females plus sexual dysfunction in the male of the species, there is enough information in this book alone to make it worthwhile to buy one of those long-lasting electric light bulbs. As I flashed through page after page choosing to read here and there, I digested its contents, thus educating myself on going downhill in some of my eating habits, a road that I travel often, making many wrong turns.

I only eat wild salmon, free-range chicken, and keep my insides pretty well oiled by consuming guacamole (crushed avocados). My daughter's garden has provided me with home grown, tenderly cared for tomatoes, which are the basis for the salsa that adorns my homemade taco (and vegetarian beans).

Although this book tells me that there is always something exciting about cutting open a watermelon or cantaloupe, I dispute that. I consider this aspect of putting potassium into my body to be the biggest rip-off of all time. Try as I may I cannot get a really sweet, juicy, with or without pits, watermelon, and although my palate hungers for a sweet tasting cantaloupe I have given up on that joy. I indulged my fancy by going to the most expensive, exclusive store that sells "the best fruit in town" (see their ads) only to come up with candidates for the garbage disposal.

I am well past, in fact, way, way well past, the menstrual period in my life but if I were still stuck in that situation I would listen to the advice given when the merits of parsley are extolled. There's something soothing about chewing on parsley that can bring relief to such discomfort.

This book goes on through those almost 600 pages with some good, solid information, enough to educate even the smartest of individuals who think they know it all (and just might be right) and insight on such subjects as to gallstone formations, cholesterol control or, how to keep your arteries clean, to suggestions for just-can't-give-it-up smokers and their eating habits.

The other book that examines our indulging in good food and a lot of no-no ones as well, is Prevention Magazine's "Nutrition Advisor" with over 1,000 foods that are analyzed and rated. Of course, I chose to read about my favorites first off and saw that I was well on the road to hell.

The last things guests will ever get in my house are hominy or grits. There is just something about the sound of those two items that remind me of pre-Civil War times and the inhumanity of man. Mishugah, I agree, but do me something, that's the way the cookie crumbles. It just don't sound Jewish to me, even though I have learned that Jewish southerners serve them regularly. It took me years to learn to eat beet greens until Gussie Zaks introduced them to me one day while grocery shopping. Loaded with health-giving nutrients.

Any book that says that broccoli is delicious in soups, salads, omelets and as a side dish, should end with a punch line. A lot of people I know consider this description and the vegetable itself to be a bad joke on unsuspecting eaters.

Enough education, dear readers. If you read either of these two books of facts and information on the foods we eat and still follow your own usual pattern of consumption, you too can join me on that walk down the road to you-know-where.

I live a pretty clean life. Oh, I'll admit every now and then I slip and slide my way past the guiding rules of my nutritionist, a holistic doctor, who is also a fully qualified M.D. He knows I lie to him. A lot. And when he asks me to write down what I ate the day before my appointment, I always write, "vegetable salad and tea."

He never argues with me but gives me one of his adorable sly looks, places an acupuncture needle where my aches reside, and hands me a diet and nutrition manual knowing full well I will spend that hour absorbed in the book's pages, and then go out the door and call a friend and make a date to try a new Chinese restaurant I just discovered in Mira Mesa.

Do I think I'm getting away with something? You bet your broccoli soup I do. With a glob of plain yogurt tossed in to infuse me with B 12 vitamin.

End of educational indulgence.

Meet me at the deli.