Tijuana, Mexico (special) -- Married 30 years, my recollection of the process is somewhat hazy. But I think the feelings that surfaced on the trip taken last Friday night by members of Congregation Beth Israel across the border to the Centro Social Israelita (Jewish Social Center) for evening Shabbat services could be compared to those felt by someone on a first date.

The members of the Reform congregation were bused to their "date" in a state of anticipation about what they might find. They came home from Tijuana with mixed reactions: they really liked some things, while other things made them feel uncomfortable.  The bus trip had been organized by two groups of Congregation Beth Israel, one ("Aleinu") specializing in adult education; the other ("Yasher Koach") in arranging cultural activities for senior members. Rabbi Sheryl Nosan, principal of the congregation's supplemental religious school, also was a participant.  The $20 ticket price for members ($25 for non-members) included a $7 contribution to the Tijuana congregation.

Rabbi Sheryl Nosan leads a discussion on  San Diego-Tijuana bus ride.

Jay Winheld, who spearheaded the project for the Aleinu group, said the balance of the ticket covered the cost of transportation, wine, cheese and cracker snacks on the bus, and a several course meal that followed the services.

From the standpoint of current relationships among the various Jewish movements, the trip was somewhat remarkable. As recently as the High Holy Days, Rabbi Jonathan Stein, Beth Israel's senior rabbi, had told his congregants not to support Chabad financially because of the Chasidic organization's position in the fight over pluralism in Israel. 

Yet here were congregants not only paying an official Beth Israel visit to a congregation led by Chabad Rabbi Mendel Polichenco, but making financial contributions to the congregation as well.

Did this indicate that there was a thawing in the relationship? HERITAGE asked Stein
subsequently. The rabbi replied that the arrangements for the visit had been made prior to his High Holy Day sermon and were completely "independent" of the controversy over pluralism. 

He added there have been some discussions at lunches among Orthodox rabbis and rabbis from other movements, but said that no formal understandings have emerged from these private get-togethers.

Some of the bus passengers knew that in previous times there had been a decided closeness between members of the two institutions.

In particular, Al Slayen remembered when he and his wife, Pearl, had been among a group of people who had helped the Mexican Jewish community to establish the Centro Social Israelita in the first place. 

During the 1950s, the Slayens had been active in San Diego's Jewish Community Center on 54th Street (sold recently to the North Park Apostolic Church). After being approached by Jews in the Oceanside area who were lamenting the lack of religious activities in the northern part of San Diego County, they helped to establish the North County Jewish Community Center in Vista, which subsequently evolved into Temple Judea, a Conservative institution.

Some time later, Jewish residents of Tijuana said they too wanted to have a place for ongoing Jewish activities, explaining that small rented quarters in Tijuana's downtown were inadequate. 

Some of the Mexican families joined the Slayens and others on a field trip to Vista to see the  North County JCC, and decided to build the Centro on the North County JCC pattern. 

The Centro at 3000 Avenida de 16 Septembre in the Colonia Gabilondo section of Tijuana began life as a Conservative institution, with its first spiritual leader being Cantor Max Furmansky, a European-born, Argentine chazzan who served there 18 years before moving on to Temple Judea and other positions.

"One of the reasons that it was built as a sports club," Slayen recalled, "was that Mexico had a law that religious institutions reverted to the government after 100 years." The sports club included handball courts and a swimming pool, which Slayen said was intended to double as a cistern in case of fire. 

* * *

Although extensive on the inside, the Centro Social Isaelita complex is barely noticeable from the outside, typical perhaps of Mexican architecture which tends to focus on an interior courtyard.

Rabbi Polichenco greeted the Beth Israel group at the door. Introduced to Rabbi Nosan, he smiled and welcomed her, betraying no feelings one way or the other about meeting a woman rabbi. Women are not eligible to become rabbis in Orthodox movements. 

Some women--unfamiliar with the strict Orthodox custom of eschewing casual physical contact with people of the other gender--stuck their hand out to shake Polichenco's, a gesture which he either ignored or backed away from.

The Chabad rabbi led the group to the Centro's new sanctuary, passing an alcove in which is mounted a unique sculpture. On the right side is the image of Moses. On the left side is the image of Benito Juarez, hero of Mexico's independence struggle and its first president. And in between is a man breaking the bonds of slavery. The parallel between the two liberators seemed particularly striking as we approached the Passover season.

The modern new sanctuary is surrounded with stained glass images depicting other moments in Jewish history. The windows were fashioned in a workshop at the center by the congregation's administrator, Jose Chacra.

As the orientation session was not a service, men and women were permitted to sit together. But later, when services began at 8:30 p.m., the women, including Rabbi Nosan, were seated behind the low mehitzah (room divider) in the rear of the sanctuary.

Polichenco, a native of Buenos Aires, immediately charmed many visitors when he said, "I sound like Spanish, but I will speak in English." 

He said Jewish settlement in Tijuana began in the 1940s, mainly by European Jews who first had settled in Mexico City. 

The Centro was inaugurated in 1967, he said. In addition to the athletic facilities and a shul (which originally was located in a space used today for classrooms), there was a social hall and a dining hall, where members of the community could get together.

Furmansky was followed by an Orthodox rabbi, Daniel Weicman, also from Argentina, and after a period of having no rabbi, the congregation turned to Polichenco, then a rabbinical student, who was working with Spanish speaking families in San Diego during summer vacations.

Once the community got to know Polichenco , they pressed him to finish his rabbinical studies early--which he did in Israel--so he could work full time, he said.

As the Chabad movement had not established a presence in Mexico up to this time, Polichenco said he asked for and received the blessing of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, the late Menachem Mendel Schneerson, for the enterprise. 

As a single rabbi, he also asked the Chabad community for help in finding a wife. They told him of an Italian girl who would be visiting her Jewish family in Los Angeles, and the shidduch was made. He and his wife, Dina, now has a 3-month old son, Abraham Joseph, whom the rabbi later cradled through much of the Shabbat service.

Polichenco told the visitors that his congregation has been swelled by Jewish families seeking to flee the pollution and violence of Mexico City. These are young families, with children, so now "we have a new program - Kabbalat Shabbat for babies. Toddlers do singing, arts and crafts, dancing. They come here and we light candles and sing, and then we go back to the classroom, have kiddush (blessing over wine) and motzi (blessing over bread) and we tell them a story."

Spanish-speaking San Diegans also attend Friday evening Shabbat services, which are always followed by a community dinner, which can go on to midnight, 1 a.m. or even longer, the rabbi said. 

"It is not only a shul; it is also a social center. Most of our activities are family oriented, not just for youth, or senior citizens, but for everybody together," he said."For example on April 5th we will have a matzoh bakery, just for educational purposes, and we will have a barbecue."

He said that because Tijuana is an alternative medicine center, attracting many patients who have been dissatisfied with their medical treatments elsewhere, "we have a bichur cholim (visiting the sick) program. We try to visit them a couple times a week. We try to make their stay in Tijuana easier."

Asked how many of the 100 member families are Chasidic, Polichenco replied: "There are two types of Chasidic: Those who know they are Chasidic and those who eventually will learn."

Polichenco then previewed in English the drosh (Torah discussion) he planned to give in Spanish on the Vayikra portion of the Torah, and how the aleph in that word is always written very small in every Torah scroll. Some say this was at the insistence of Moses himself, who wanted his story told with a certain modesty. 

The rabbi compared Moses favorably to Adam, whose name begins in the Torah with a large aleph , and suggested that self-aggrandizement led to Adam's downfall, while modesty was a reason for Moses' greatness. 

* * *
After a brief tour of the rest of the Centro, it was time for formal Shabbat services in Hebrew and Spanish to begin -- men in the front section, women in the back. 

Rabbi Nosan later told HERITAGE that "some of the women were clearly unfamiliar with a mehitzah (room divider) in the synagogue, so they didn't know what to do initially. But I think they were generally comfortable. I didn't sense discomfort. 

"There was a woman sitting on one side of me who grew up in the Conservative movement and was clearly comfortable, and a woman who on the other side of me was less familiar with Hebrew, and she too seemed at ease," Nosan said.

"After the service, some of the people commented on how similar it was to our service at Beth Israel, because the key components of the service are the same -- and we are all Jews," Nosan added. 

"That which unified us is ultimately more significant than that which differentiates us. We Reform Jews are leaving that Chasidic service with a much greater sense of our connection to one another as Jews, and not our differences."

The Oneg Shabbat was a big meal, with special Mexican kosher wine, salad, taco shells, peppers and hot gefilte fish preceding the main course of chicken and rice. Between the fish and the chicken, Rabbi Polichenko led the multi-national celebrants in singing well-known Hebrew songs.

"I didn't expect the community to be as warm and welcoming; I didn't expect to feel as comfortable as a female rabbi there," Nosan said later. "I enjoyed every element of being there. I didn't expect the kavanah, the tremendous enthusiasm, that I felt there, or the sense of community that we enjoyed at the dinner afterwards."

In the brief time she had to interact with Polichenco, "he was friendly, communicative,
and answered my questions," Nosan said. "He invited the congregation to come frequently and visit in the future, and invited our youth to come and visit their congregation, and that was wonderful."

On the bus ride home, it was apparent that not everyone shared Nosan's feelings.
One woman told the rest of us she had not realized "that it was going to be an Orthodox service; I didn't know we were going to be separated. I want to go home and say the Shabbat prayers. I don't feel like Shabbat. I don't think that the people welcomed us." A scattered chorus of agreement greeted her comments.

When another woman said that she found the evening "a delightfully spiritual Shabbat, being all together, celebrating Shabbat together," more people than before clapped. "I didn't feel a need to be acknowledged," continued the second woman. "I came away feeling it was a very spiritual evening."

Rabbi Nosan suggested that perhaps a language barrier had prevented some socializing. Also, she noted, many of the"Beth Israelites" stuck together.

She said she thought if more groups visit in the future, they should receive an orientation about what type of ritual to expect in a Chabad synagogue. She also said that it would be "nice if we reciprocated and invited members of their community to our congregation some time."

But what about their kosher requirements? someone asked.

Arrangements for kosher catering could be made, Nosan replied.