2005--02-10-Lederman—Terumah |
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He just couldn't wait to marry us
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By
Rabbi Baruch Lederman, Congregation
Kehillas Torah, San Diego "And you shall make Me a sanctuary and I shall dwell in it." (Exodus 25:8) Love comes in many forms and varieties. There is the love of a parent and a child, a brother and a sister, a bride and a groom. There is the love of a teacher and a student, one friend and another, a husband and a wife. There is also the love of Hashem (G-d) and the Children of Israel. What type of love is that? How can we describe or understand the love Hashem has for the Jewish people? The Talmud (Kesubos 62b) relates a true story, which gives us insight into this vitally important question: Rebbi Yehudah Hanassi (known simply as Rebbi), who went to the family of Reb Yosi ben Zimri to arrange a wedding for his son to their daughter. It was a common practice in those days, that the groom would give the bride a wedding ring making them actually betrothed (not just engaged); but they wouldn't go to the chupa (wedding canopy) to consummate their marriage and live together as man and wife, till several months or even a year later, giving the groom a chance to go on his own to Yeshiva and study Torah and/or set up his business or profession. During the shidduch (matchmaking) negotiations, it was agreed that immediately after betrothal (kedushin), he would go away to a great yeshiva in another city for twelve years to immerse himself in Torah study. He aspired to be a Torah scholar. Only after that time would he return home and consummate the marriage (nisu'in/chupa). They brought out the young maiden before him. Presumably they saw and spoke to each other. After this interaction, they returned to the negotiations and Rebbi's son said, "Let it just be six years of learning, and then return to her to live together as man and wife. They brought her out a second time. Presumably they picked up where had they left off before. After this interaction, they returned to the negotiations and Reb Yosi said that he would live together with her as man and wife immediately after the betrothal. Later he met his father-in-law on the street and was feeling kind of embarrassed. His father-in-law said to him, "Do not be embarrassed. Hashem Himself reacted the same way you did." Rebbi explained: " Originally the stated plan was for the Temple to be built only after the children of Israel entered that land of Israel as it is written, "And you will bring them [to Israel] and implant them on ...the foundation of Your dwelling place." (Exodus 15:17) Meaning that first Hashem would bring the Jews to Israel, and only then would they build the Temple [Hashem's 'dwelling place']. Later, after the Torah was given at Har Sinai, the orders changed. Hashem said "And you shall make Me a sanctuary and I shall dwell in it." (Exodus 25:8) Immediately. This sanctuary was to be constructed while the Jews were wandering in the desert. The Sinai experience was akin to a betrothal, Hashem did not want to wait for them to reach Israel, before He 'consummated' His marriage to the Jewish people. We all know that Hashem loves us, but many often think of Hashem as a stern stoic figure - a mighty king, an aged father or grandfather - benevolent and loving but cold and austere, maybe even aloof. We see here that the love that Hashem has for us is strong and passionate and deep. Hashem is head-over-heals crazy about us. It is important that we realize how great and vibrant is Hashem's love for us. The Maharsha writes that this is the fundamental concept of Shir Hashirim (The Song of Songs) - the fervent, potent love between Hashem and the Children of Israel, which is described in terms of a love song between a man and a woman. This is what caused Rebbe Akiva to declare, "If all the books (of the Bible) are holy, Shir Hashirim is the holy of holies." Every type of love that exists on this earth can help us understand the love that Hashem has for us, for every form of human love is a part of that Divine love. What was the end of the story? After the complete wedding, Rebbi's son went off to Yeshiva to learn Torah for twelve years. In the interim, his wife had become sterile. Rebbi felt that this poor woman deserved to be rewarded not punished for her years of waiting, so he entreated Hashem in intense prayer and she was miraculously healed. Indeed, Hashem's love for us is infinite and sublime, beyond what we could ever fully comprehend; but, every form of love between humans helps us relate to Hashem's love, in terms that are real for us - ways that we can feel in our gut. |