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By Dr.Fred Reiss
MURRIETA, California—Arrive early any weekday morning at Congregation B’nai Chaim in Murrieta, and you’re sure to find Dan Castiglione walking in and around the synagogue looking for electrical and mechanical problems that need fixing. You might find him in the office sorting the mail, listening to the answering machine, and referring the calls to the right individuals. Perhaps you’ll see him helping his soul-mate, Alissa, set up for the synagogue’s major fundraiser—the weekly bingo game. As B’nai Chaim’s Administrative Vice President, Dan is there in the evenings, too, attending one meeting or another. It’s not surprising then to learn that Dan is the father of David Castiglione, Rabbi of Temple Adat Shalom in Poway. What may be surprising is that Dan is a convert to Judaism.
When Dan was ten years old, his father died, leaving his mother to raise Dan and his two brothers and sisters alone in Brooklyn, NY, and leaving Dan, who was never a religious Protestant, with questions about the fairness of God. At age sixteen, Dan quit high school to help his family. By his eighteenth birthday, Dan had joined the army and found himself in Korea. He served first as an electrician on hospital trains and then, in another engineering company, running electrical lines in bombed-out cities.
After a three-year stint in the army, he found himself back in the States with the question of what do I do now with my life? Dan went to work for Burlington Industries cutting swatches. An executive with the company took interest in him and Dan went back to school to get his high school diploma and then onto the Fashion Institute of Design.
Dan met Alissa through his sister. He was at first reluctant to ask her out, but on his sister’s insistence, he gave in. They became good friends and constant companions. Alissa came from a solid Conservative Jewish background. The synagogue was a vital part of her life and the life of her family, so religion was always a topic of discussion between them. Dan attended shul with Alissa and learned about Judaism. Soon, he began meeting with Rabbi Samuel Chiel. Alissa’s father, also concerned about the future of his daughter and her family,
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called him aside and told Dan, “So you’re interested in my daughter? I want my grandchildren to grow up Jewish.”
Because of his love for Alissa, like Ruth’s affection for Naomi, Dan took upon himself the burden of conversion. He studied with Rabbi Chiel for about a year and a half, reading “every conceivable Jewish book,” but now realizing there are many more. Alissa helped him with Hebrew and assisted with his studies. In the end, Dan went through an Orthodox Jewish conversion—examined by four rabbis, had a circumcision, and ritually immersed himself in the mikvah. Dan married Alissa and they became a vital part of Alissa’s parent’s synagogue in Malverne, NY.
As young as age four, their son David loved to go to the Temple with his parents on Friday evenings and with his grandfather on Shabbat mornings. Dan rose through Burlington Industries; eventually become an executive with the company. As a result, the Castiglione’s moved to La Caňada and joined the reform synagogue in Glendale. Dan and Alissa continued their active synagogue life and David, too, took on important roles in the synagogue’s youth programs, and as a camper and eventually, counselor. At this synagogue, David found a mentor in Rabbi Kenneth Wise.
Like his father before him, David reached a point at the conclusion of high school where he asked himself, what do I do now with my life? He went to junior college for two years and sometime during this period he decided to become a rabbi. With the encouragement of his parents, the following year David spent a year in Israel, where he learned to speak Modern Hebrew and attended college classes. He returned to the States and enrolled in the University of California at Santa Cruz. With the guidance and encouragement of Rabbi Wise, David entered and later received his smicha (ordination) from Hebrew Union College.
Now-a-days, you can often see Dan and Alissa proudly sitting in the seats of Temple Adat Shalom on Shabbat and Jewish holidays marveling at the success of their son. Dan understands that being a devoted rabbi is an around-the-clock job that amounts to nothing less than absolute dedication to people. No doubt, somewhere along the way, David recognized, internalized, and transformed Dan and Alissa’s dedication to synagogue life and Judaism into his own form of caring and commitment. The Jewish community is better for it.
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