Rabbi Bruce Barton tells a tale of two seas in the Land of Israel . One is fresh, and fish are in it. Splashes of green adorn its banks. Trees spread their branches over it, and stretch out their thirsty roots to sip of its healing waters. Along its shore children play.  The River Jordan makes this sea with sparkling water from the hills. So it laughs in the sunshine. And people build their homes near it, and birds their nests; and every kind of life is happier because it is here.

            The River Jordan flows on south into another sea. Here there is no splash of fish, no fluttering leaf, no song of birds, no children’s laughter. The air hangs heavy above its waters and neither people nor animals will drink here.

            What makes this mighty difference in theses seas? Not the River Jordan. It empties the same good water into both. Not the soil in which they lie; not the country ‘round about.

            This is the difference:

            The Sea of Galilee receives but does not keep the Jordan. For every drop that flows into it another drop flows out. The giving and receivings go on in equal measure.

            The other sea is shrewder, hoarding its income jealously. It will not be tempted into any generous impulse. Every drop it gets, it keeps.

            The Sea of Galilee gives and lives.

            The other sea can not sustain life. It is named the Dead Sea.

            There are two seas in the Land of Israel.

            There are two kinds of people in the world.

            We gather this morning, in this holy place which she so loved, to mourn and to remember our good friend Lillian Weiss.

            Lillian was like the Sea of Galilee in her cherished Land of Israel. She drank deeply of the waters of life and savored every drop, before distributing them with generosity and love to everyone whose lives she touched.

 

            Although I had known Lillian for many years, I was caught completely by surprise when I learned that she was 89 years old when she died. She always seemed like a much younger person to me. Even in these last few years, when her body began to fail her, her mind was always sharp and her sense of humor intact. She never sat back and allowed others to take care of her. She was always the care giver. She was always the volunteer. Even when she living in the Jacobs Center she reached out to help others and proudly wore a badge that identified her not as resident, but as a volunteer.

            Her family told me that she also identified and reached out to those in need in Seacrest Village. When an elderly woman  newly confined to a wheelchair moved in to Seacrest, it was Lillian who took her under her wing to comfort her and to show her how to maneuver on her own with the wheelchair.

            One could rightfully say that all of Lillian’s love of life was based on her love of her family, her fellow human being and her need to do for others and make other people’s lives happier and more content.

            Just to give you a small picture of all of her volunteer work, she and her husband Victor, or blessed memory, joined Tifereth Israel in 1948. They immediately became integral and indispensable members of the congregation. Victor would cook in the kitchen of the basement at our building at 30^th and Howard for synagogue events, and the two of them ran the gift shop together. Lillian was also one of the faithful Wednesday morning Sisterhood bakers who to this day supply us with indescribably delicious treats for Onegei Shabbat and Kiddushes.

            Lillian was a dedicated Sisterhood member, and was a Patron Life Member. She also served as Sisterhood president from 1970-1972. She was also named a Sisterhood Woman of Valor, a special honor reserved only for those women who distinguish themselves not only by their service to the synagogue but through the inspiration and example they set for others.

            She was a member of Tifereth Israel’s Torah Luncheon Club led first by Rabbi Levens and later by Rabbi Gold and Lew Fischbein, and actively supported the University of Judaism in Los Angeles who honored her a few years ago with a prestigious award.

            She was a life member of the Women’s Auxiliary of the Hebrew Home for the Aged, and a member of the City of Hope, ORT, the National Council of Jewish Women, the National Parkinson Association and the Leukemia Society of Los Angeles and San Diego.

            In 1979 she was honored by then San Diego Mayor Pete Wilson who presented her with a citation in recognition of her participation in the first Women’s Work Week sponsored by the Advisory Board on Women.

            Lillian was born in New York and grew up in the Bronx. She was devoted daughter to her parents, and enjoyed an especially close and caring relationship with her brother, Ben Ferber, of blessed memory. In her devotion to charity work she closely followed in the footsteps of her own mother, whom she would always recall going out to do volunteer work at a non-profit organization she referred to as, “the gas company.”

            Lillian was extremely bright, inquisitive and intellectually precocious. Although she did not grow up speaking Yiddish, she learned quickly in order to converse with her in-laws who spoke little English. In no time at all she was fluent, much to the consternation of her granddaughter, Susan, who found that her grandparents spoke in Yiddish when they did not want her to understand what they were saying!

            After high school Lillian entered Hunter College, not terribly common for a woman in those days, but then had to leave school because of the depression. However, when her daughter, Gloria, was in college Lillian decided to go back to complete her education and receive her degree. She and Gloria attended S.D.S.U. where she received her Bachelor’s Degree. Afterwards she used all she learned to teach adult school, her specialty being the instruction of steno script.

            This was not Lillian’s first employment, however. Here in San Diego she worked for her brother Ben for many years she was Director of Public Relations for the Pacific College of Medical and Dental Careers that he owned. She was a creative whiz, and later she constantly drew on these talents to write scripts and poems and the presentations that she loved to organize and direct, and that we loved to participate in and enjoy. She was always extremely well organized and had wonderful administrative skills. To this day Gloria credits her mother with teaching her the secret of list making!

            The love of Lillian’s life was Victor Weiss, her beloved husband of 47 years. Only his death in 1984 parted them.

            They met in New York and worked for the same company, the Woolen Corporation of America. They were seated at different tables during a company party, but their chairs were back to back. Victor suddenly turned around and asked her to dance. He was so smitten that it was only once he was on the dance floor that he realized he had taken off his new shoes and left them under the table.

            I guess it did not bother Lillian, because they dated, fell in love and married. They were completely devoted to each other and very loving. It’s not that they always agreed of course, and Susan remembers being teased by her grandfather who asked her what grandma said when she was cross with him. “Vic!” she would shout. And when grandpa was cross with grandma? “Libby!” But even in the way they disagreed you could see the love, devotion and commitment between the two of them.

            They did everything together. Not only raising their daughter and doting on their granddaughter, but they volunteered together, took cruises and traveled and shared a close circle of friends.

            Victor’s death was a harsh blow to Lillian. But she characteristically picked herself up and returned to her life of doing unto others.

            Gloria told me that Lillian was a wonderful mother - the absolute best. When she was a little girl her father traveled a lot in his job in sales for Ratners. But he always came home Friday afternoon. On Friday afternoons she remembers the house being filled with the aroma of her mother’s freshly made breadsticks, which were a Shabbes tradition in the house.

            Lillian was devoted to her family. They were most important people in her life. And later, when Gloria married Ramon, she welcomed him in as her own son and his children, Jane, Susan, Michelle and Lauren, and grandchildren, Rachel, Chance and Natalie, as her own grandchildren and great-grandchildren. When Susan married her stepson quickly became her own new grandson.

            Gloria remembers her mom as always being there for her, and as a very generous and caring woman who lived with great modestly, never looked for thanks and never drew attention to herself. But if there was someone who needed help, Lillian was an advocate. She never hesitated to put herself on the line and place a phone call to a public official or important person if she thought it would help someone in need.

            But as for her own needs, Lillian always put herself last. Even when the family was gathered for dinner, Lillian could never manage to sit down. No matter how much Victor would cry, “Libby, sit down!” there was always a family member or guest who might need something.

            Susan told me that you never had to worry about being hungry around her grandmother. If she was hungry, she knew that all she had to do was ask for a drink, and soon the buffet would be spread.  When she was sick, she could count on her grandmother to come over and play cards and entertain her.

            And oh, how she worried about her family. She was fiercely protective and wanted to make sure that nothing happened to them. If you were eating a hamburger or candy bar, she always reminded you not to eat the paper. If she bought you an ice cream cone, she would stick a straw down the middle to make sure that the ice cream did not fall off. When she spied a sharp cabinet corner, she hung a bell from it to make sure you were warned against hitting your head.

            Ramon told me how much he admired Lillian not only for her warmth and love, but for her intelligence and tenacity. She always looked out for others. When she saw something that needed to be done, she took control. And she always motivated others to do their best and be their best. She inspired the best in all of us.

            Lillian was wonderful and beautiful human being. She was always smiling and always happy and always active. Even in her later years when she became infirm, her limitations never affected her attitude. She accepted her disabilities with good humor and good grace, never spoke about them, and simply continued going on with her life of love and giving.

            Lillian lived a long and full life. She had goodness of years as well as length of years. She leaves behind a family who cherishes her and all the mitzvot she performed in the land of the living. She left this world for the next with no regrets, no word unsaid or good deed unperformed.

            If there are regrets, they are ours alone, and not that we did not love her and cherish her and tell her how much she meant to us while she was alive, but regrets that future generations will not benefit from her life and example. But we can remove that regret, of course, if we keep her alive in our minds and hearts, spread her love to those around us, and continue to perform innumerable acts of lovingkindness in her name.

            If we follow in her footsteps, and we too give more than we receive, than Lillian’s life will continue to be a blessing for us but for all who follow us as well.

            She was an Eshet Chayil, the Woman of Valor of whom Proverbs spoke. Let us always praise her and may the goodness and vitality she shared with us and with all humanity be her eternal memorial.

 

            May her soul be bound in the bond of Eternal Life.

 

* * *

Lillian Ferber Weiss                                                                         Liba bat Moshe Ya’akov v’Rae

 

Age: 89   D. 8/12/2000 BSD )11 Av 5760(  B. 11/29/1910

 

H: Victor )d. ‘84( M: 47 years

 

Gloria Irene Ross & Ramon Royal

            Susan Burich,

            Jane Ross, Susan Kawar, Michelle Ross, Lauren

                        GGC: Rachel, Chance, Natalie