As retold by Bruce Lowitt

"Mount Sinai Hospital. How may I direct your call?"

"Dollink, I'd like to talk with the person who gives the information about the patients."

"Of course. We ."

"But I don't just want to know if the patient is better or doing like expected, or worse, I want all the information from top to bottom"

"Umm, that's an unusual request. Can you hold on a minute?"

"Of course."

A minute passes. Then .
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"Hello, this is Dr. Goldstein, the hospital administrator. Are you the lady calling about one of the patients?"

Yes, dollink. About Sarah Finkel. She's in room 317."

"Hmm, Finkel. Finkel. Let me check the charts. Farber, Feinberg, Feldman.

Ah, Finkel. Oh, yes, Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she's had two full meals, her blood pressure is fine and, according to her doctor's notes, if she continues this way, she'll be going home the day after tomorrow."

"The day after tomorrow? Oy, such good news. Thank God! That's wonderful! I'm so happy to hear that!"

"My goodness," the administrator says, "from your enthusiasm, I take it you must be a close member of the family."

"Family, shmamily. I'm Sarah Finkel! My doctor tells me nothing!"