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By Sheila Orysiek
 SAN DIEGO—Most Jews, even those who do not consider themselves as particularly observant, will often pause in their lives at this time of year in regard to Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. For the observant Jew it is time to contemplate the past year, make amends for errors of behavior, take stock of one's place within the community and give thought as to how one might improve that community as well as oneself.
Spiritual leaders remind us that our lives are like cupboards and this is a time to open the doors, examine the contents, dust off the shelves and perhaps re-arrange the goods. Some of the items may have been corrupted, some might need to be thrown out and never seen again, while others need to be replaced. And there are always some items which have been neglected while others were overlooked and entirely forgotten. It's always a good idea to take stock as a basis for renewal.
It is also a time to forgive others as well as ask them to forgive us. In both instances part of the process of forgiveness or being forgiven is the hope that such circumstances will not occur again – while both sides of the equation have learned something from the experience.
However, I think there is yet another side to this contemplation; perhaps a celebratory side. Not a loud celebration with fire works, but a quiet acknowledgement of progress toward a goal which was set last year – or the year before. For instance one might have set a goal of listening
more to others – or of listening more carefully to what one says to others and thus being aware of how it sounds to another person. And, if looking back it seems progress was made toward this goal – what then? While such a task is never "completed" – progress was made. How about a bit – just a small – tiny – miniscule – infinitesimal – acknowledgement to oneself of a degree of accomplishment? Is that possible? Why not?
Why not – as part of the stock taking of the cupboard – say to oneself: "You know, I think I did better this last year." We are taught to believe that "doing the right thing" is the default position. And it should be. And we would like it to be. But, we also know it isn't always – or not as often as it should be. When we do a good job is an "atta-boy" or "atta-girl" out of bounds? Is it so wrong to be pleased – just a bit – with oneself,
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Part of improving the community within which we live is acknowledging the positive accomplishments, attributes and talents of others. Positive reinforcement of good behavior works – makes the world a more pleasant place for everyone. Well, I think once in a while – quietly – silently – with the small voice inside – we might say – "I made some progress with improving myself, and perhaps that will also help the world."
Acknowledging progress is a good thing….and often leads to more progress.
Wine Blessing ... oil on canvas ... (c) Sheila Orysiek
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