THE JEWISH CITIZEN

Dinner and a movie: two fine opportunities for enjoyable inter-cultural experiences

By Donald H. Harrison

ESCONDIDO, California—A fine dinner followed by a good movie with dear friends.  What could be better—especially since the two parts of the evening Sunday, December 30, had something wonderful in common: opportunities to learn more about other cultures.

Nancy and I were joined by her father, Sam Zeiden, and our friends Gerry and Judy Burstain were accompanied by her mother, Eleanor Lieb, at Medina’s Italian Restaurant in the Felicita Village Shopping Center.  It’s the kind of
Donald H. Harrison
restaurant that critics say they dream about—a small unpretentious, moderately-priced, family-owned restaurant that uses fresh ingredients, serves large portions, and treats every patron as an honored guest. 

I was impressed that I found two delicious menu items that I never had tried before: stacciatella and stromboli.  The former is described on the menu as a “traditional Roman egg drop soup, with spinach and parmigano.”  It is a lighter alternative to minestrone, and very tasty.   The Internet is filled with recipes in numerous languages for stacciatella, which it describes as scrambled egg soup, so evidently there are many variants.  For me, the version at Medina’s was a pleasant discovery.

So too was the vegetarian stromboli, which was made with artichoke hearts, zucchini, mushrooms, olives and cheese and put inside a pizza dough cone shaped like the Stromboli volcano located off the north coast of Sicily.  Instead of the toppings being put on a slice of pizza, they lodge within the cone and can be scooped out with a spoon.  I learned that Italians also refer to strombolis as bolis.

Our dinner conversation centered on the 17-day trip to Israel from which Gerry and Judy had recently returned.  As a honeymoon present for their son, Dan, and his bride, Jane, the trip was a deluxe tour through the land of Gerry’s birth and early adulthood.  A former pilot in the Israel Air Force, Gerry conducted his family from the Lebanese border on the north to Israel’s southern tip on the Red Sea. 

Along the way, various friends provided home hospitality and informative sightseeing tours,  drawing deeply on Israel’s ancient history and archaeology.  As Jane is a Christian, the Burstains  made certain they visited not only Jewish places but also Christian holy sites.  Jane was wowed by the trip, with one experience that left a lasting impression being the traditional Jewish extended-family dinner on Shabbat.  Gerry reported that Jane expressed a desire that she and Dan could bring such a tradition into their own home.

We returned to Gerry’s home in the Escondido hills to preview on his 60-inch television screen the movie, Arranged, that will be shown  at AMC La Jolla on Saturday, Feb. 9, during the 18th Annual San Diego Jewish Film Festival. 

All six of us enjoyed the movie, although there was some commentary that the 92-minute, English-language film written by Stefan Schaefer and co-directed by Schaefer and Diane Crespo could have been cut because in some places it was slow going.   I wasn’t among those holding that view, however, as I am one who enjoys lingering over a pleasurable experience—and what more pleasurable theme is there than friendship between a religious Jew and a religious Muslim? The movie was based on the life of Yuta Silverman, a fourth-grade special education teacher

In the movie, Nasira (Francis Benhamou)  is a fourth-grade teacher, and Rochel (Zoe Lister-Jones) is a special education teacher for a blind student in Nasira’s class in a Brooklyn elementary school.  Mrs. Jacoby, the principal (Marcia Jean Kuntz), considers herself a liberated woman and looks at the two religiously-observant, new teachers as relics of a male-dominated past.  At a faculty meeting, she asks teachers to tell something “juicy” about their summer vacations, and beams as a veteran teacher reveals that she went to Europe, where she enjoyed the freedom of going topless on the beach.  For both Rochel and Nasira, it was a moment of extreme discomfort, but one in which they recognized each other as kindred souls.

In class, students asked if it were true that the two teachers could never like each other because Nasira is a Muslim and Rochel is a Jew, and  furthermore isn’t it true that Muslims want to kill Jews and drive Israel into the sea? (I wondered if  fourth-graders really are so aware of the Middle East conflict)  Nasira responded to the children that there are 1.5 billion Muslims around the world holding many viewpoints.  Rochel suggested that each student come in the next day with a sign bearing just one word that he or she thinks is a true self-description. 

One boy called himself “boricua”-a word meaning Puerto Rican—adding that he loved the music, and loved the dance. A girl held up the word “potential,” quoting her mother that she had the potential to be anyone that she wanted to be.   Both students were voted into the friendship circle. 

But when another boy held up the word “nasty,” his classmates decided they didn’t want someone who was “nasty” to be in their circle.  The boy was told to take a seat outside the circle.  A friend said that wasn’t fair, he shouldn’t be excluded.  If he chooses another word, can he come back into the circle?  It depends, Rochel said.  There will have to be a vote. 

To a degree, then, we can decide our fate by how we define ourselves.  However, in the matter of their respective marriages, the two teachers had far less independence than other people.  Their marriages would be arranged: Rochel’s by a shadchan, and Nassira’s by her father.  Over time and past some uncomfortable moments, the two teachers became each other’s support systems as they wrestled with the question: should they continue to define themselves as “religious” Jew and Muslim, or should they find a new word for their identities?

The movie takes viewers through prayer and marriage customs in both traditional families.  Of the two, Rochel had a harder time in the process.  Whereas Nassira’s father was considerate of his daughter’s wishes, Rochel’s mother put pressure on her to agree to one of the men put forward by the shadchan—laying the guilt trip on her that if she didn’t choose, she would jeopardize the health of her father, who has high blood pressure, and also would dishonor the family, and thereby ruin the chances of her younger sister to get a husband.

Believe me, most of us wouldn’t want our daughters to marry any of the candidates initially put forward as potential husbands for Rochel , notwithstanding the fact that they were members of “nice Jewish families.”   One was too timid, afraid of his own shadow; another was too aggressive, talking and selling, never caring what Rochel thought.  As the shadchan sent her more and more prospects, each seemed worse than the previous.   

Extremely awkward moments in the movie came when Nassira and Rochel brought each other to their homes.   Rochel’s mother reacted with deep prejudice—a Muslim friend might lessen Rochel’s chances of finding the right husband.  Nassira’s father looked with shock at the young Orthodox Jewish woman, but extended to her the welcome due a guest in a Muslim home.    

We don't know whether this was author Silverman's actual experience, or whether this juxtaposition between the two families’ attitudes was a writer’s contrivance. The Jewish family just as easily might have been gracious and the Muslim family rude.  If there are Jews so boorish as Rochel’s mother, I have yet to meet them.  May my good luck continue.

Overall, the movie was charming. Viewers will delight in the two young women’s friendship which not only survives the arranged marriage process, but which deepens over time.  May the written wish for such amity go from the writer's computers to God’s eyes!

Harrison is editor and publisher of San Diego Jewish World

WHAT'S GOOD TO EAT IN SAN DIEGO?

Special prix fixe menus will highlight
'restaurant week' Jan. 27-Feb. 1

By Lynne Thrope

SAN DIEGO—Well, another year has rolled around and so have those resolutions to do better, be better, and hopefully, to be more adventurous. Psychologists tell us that trying new things gives us a fresh perspective that renews the spirit and stretches the mind. One economical way to exercise your curiosity and go where you’ve never gone before in 2008 is to take advantage of San Diego’s 4th annual extraordinary Restaurant Week. Beginning Sunday January 27 and ending Friday February 1 treat yourself to as many

Lynne Thrope

of the 150 restaurants around the county that will dazzle you with their special three-course, prix fixe menus at $30 or $40!

During Restaurant Week the Prado at Balboa Park will be serving seared kobe beef sushi roll with charred asparagus, wasabi cream, braised hijiki and a roasted garlic ponzu dipping sauce while the Pamplemousse Grille will be boasting its basil roasted wild seabass with roasted garlic polenta cake and sautéed broccolini. The Firefly Grill and Wine Bar will wow you with its sauce antiboise chocolate and roasted peanut fondant with chocolate hazelnut gelato, drunken fruit marmalade and frangelico anglaise as will Terra with its pumpkin raviolis roasted in corn cream with a sprinkle of toasted hazelnuts. Whether you prefer to devour delicious grilled angus beef culotte with olive oil crushed potatoes and persimmon salad from 1500 Ocean or the salmon “mignon” with sweet potato gratin, spinach in bearnaise buerre blanc from Avenue 5, every dish will be a culinary adventure.

Mike Mitchell, President of the California Restaurant Association (CRA) San Diego County chapter says, "We are thrilled San Diego is able offer such a diverse array of dining opportunities. The growth of San Diego's culinary scene in the past few years has been immeasurable and this unique eventprovides attendees with the ability to experience San Diego's best of the best at an affordable price."

There are no tickets or passes required. Food lovers may simply dine out in as many participating restaurants as you like during San Diego Restaurant Week 2008. Advance reservations are strongly recommended and can be made by calling restaurants directly.

Visit www.sandiegorestaurantweek.com for the complete list of participating restaurants, their menus, and contact information...B’Tayavon